Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sibling Battles, Family Love and Friendships

My boys have been fighting a lot lately. And not just any fighting, but they ugly talk fighting. I absolutely HATE potty words. My oldest thinks it is funny to say that his younger brother eats poo then the younger brother gets angry and starts choking his brother. You could say "boys" but I will NOT tolerate it!! They have a friend that talks this way all the time and the parents do nothing about it and it drives me NUTS!! So I had a long talk with them about family. I told them about all my "best" friends I had growing up and how I haven't seen any of them in years!! YEARS!!! But I still have my brother. Sure we fought and bickered, but we still love each other and would be there for each other at a moments notice.

Then I got to thinking about my "friends". It is sad to say but I really have had friends for quite some time. Sure there were ladies that I did things with, but generally I was never part of "the group" They all had babies and I didn't, then they had school age children and I had a baby. I was left out of mom's night out because I wasn't a mom. Then I was left out because I couldn't participate in the 'birth stories" that always seemed to happen on any ladies' trip.

A few years before we moved here we had several "friends" turn on us. It was the most aweful experience and hurt beyond belief. I felt rejected and accused. Nothing I said was heard and I was interrupted before I had a chance to speak. The could that went there to "supervise" the lynching, said word none to my defence.

Then we moved, "you'll be back" was the one comment we heard the most. Not "we will miss you". Why would I want to go back?? Nobody will miss me!! And they didn't. The first 4 years we were here not a single "friend" called to see how we were doing. We called them a couple of times but it is tiring being in a one sided friendship. So we dropped it.

God has blessed me recently in several ways. First he has placed a really good friend in my life. I can call her anytime and say "let's do dinner" and she is there. We talk and laugh and it is the kind of friendship that I love. Second He has re-placed a dear friend (and her hubby) back into our lives. I have missed this lady for so long, but circumstances pulled us apart, and I missed her. We got together last time we were in LA and it was like old times.

God is a faithful friend. He will never leave us. During the time of "friendlesness" He has enabled J and I to grow close in such a way that it is amazing. I love spending time with him, he is my favorite person to be around and the love of my life! I couldn't ask for more. God has also showed me that sometimes "friends" can be our downfall. They can take us away from the things that are important. He wanted us here in TN and if we had really close friends then we would have never moved. It would have been too hard. I saw the removal of friends from our lives as a pruning. He wanted us to grow and these friendships were not allowing it. Pruning is painful, but it is necessary for growth.

Many of my old friends I have reconnected with and I love chatting with them and reading about what is going on in their lives. God has healed a lot of old wounds and I am glad that I went through the hurt. It was the only way for growth and for me to learn to fully trust in God.

He is Faithful!!


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