Conflicting Reports

Today I got two emails. One for husbands about how to treat your wives and one for wives on how to treat your husbands. Now, I sub to a few newsletters and these were from different ministries, so it isn't like one sent out both.

Ok. Well, the email for husbands went something like this. Husbands, love your wives. When you get home, don't just plop on the sofa and watch TV. Ask her how her day went, help her if she needs help. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you should stop romancing her. Don't spend all your free time with your buddies. Don't stop "courting" her.. If you do, then she will feel deceived. Love her for who she is. After a few kids, don't expect her to have the same body that she did when she was 16. Love her body with all the wonderful changes that childbearing brings...

The one for wives. Wives, when you husband walks through the door at night, don't bother him with the days events and expect him to help you. He needs to sit in his chair and relax. He has been bothered all day by people needing him and the last thing he wants is to have to give even more when he gets home. Try to keep the kids quiet so that he can relax. Allow him time on the weekend to golf and spend time with his friends. Just because he is married, doesn't mean that he stops needing time with "the guys". You should always look your best. Spend time keeping your body fit, if you gain weight and stop wearing make up and fixing your hair like you did when you were courting, the he will feel deceived.

Hmmm... so what then are we supposed to do?? Who is right? Well, both are. You see love is all about being aware of the needs of those you profess to love. Isn't that what our Father does? He isn't going to give us all the same things, He is going to meet the needs of the individual person. Contrary to popular belief, we don't all need the same things. We even don't all desire the same things.

I spent some time a few years ago learning the love languages of my family. I have everyone figured out except my dd. She is still in that "selfish" phase where it is all about pleasing her. So, she gets a little of everything until I have her figured out..LOL

My husband is very good at seeing what I need and meeting that need. Many times, it is done in his love language which is good. I recognize it and I accept it as love. His is acts of service. If I have dishes that need to be washed then he will do it. If he sees that I had a hard day then he will chip in to help and allow me a bit of rest. I tend to answer in his love language. Although I do "demand" hugs and words of affirmation! My middle child in much like me. If he sees me struggling with something he will come up to me and hug me and tell me he loves me. Oh that does wonders. My oldest is gifts. He will give me things. When he was younger he would spend time drawing for me. He will pick flowers for me and even suggest to J that he give me flowers for my birthday. My boy knows which gifts mom wants!!LOL

Love isn't selfish. Love isn't saying "I have had a hard day meet my needs" love says " You have had a hard day, let me meet your needs" and that is pretty much what both emails were saying. So, Find a need and meet it.

In closing, I went to Ladies Bible Study last night. The lady teaching (sorry, I don't remember your name!) said (and I paraphrase) Take it slow, do your job, do it well, and do it with grace. Grace...and Love... isn't that what we all need?

Love you guys!!

R

Quilt update

I think I want to make this quilt in dark Amish solids with black sashing. Kind of a modern Amish quilt.

Thanks for all the help. But one word of advice......... don't hold your breath...LOL I will let you know if I ever get to ordering the fabrics. I am going to get these from here. They also have an Amish black which is a true black that won't fade to blue or purple or grey after a few washings. Hey Beth, it is in NH... maybe you could run down there and pick it up for me....LOL

Well, thanks for all the advise!!

R

A Quilt Post

I want to make a king sized quilt. The last time I made a large quilt was 12 years ago when I made the queen size one that we are using now. I still love the look and feel of it but we fight over it at night. We need something bigger.

But I am at a loss as to which design I want to use. What colors? Should I make it a scrappy quilt? God knows I have enough scraps. Traditional? Edgy? Modern? I hate decisions.. Any ideas? I don't want it too girly, I mean half of the couple using it is a man, plus I don't really like girly things myself.

So, if you have any ideas, let me know....

Have a great day!

R

My Thoughts on Adoption

Ok.. bear with me here.....

It seems to be the in thing to do here is to adopt orphans, and while I applaud this and I don't questions the motives of those doing it, I do have one little problem.... ME... yes, ME!

You see adoption for me was a way for us to be parents. The only way I was told. I love how God built our family and I wouldn't have it any other way! For 11+ years I have wanted to find a support group for parents of adopted children. Our church has one and to tell you the truth I am afraid to join it. Why? Because I can almost guarantee that the majority of people in the group are adopting not to become a parent but to add to their already existing family. And after talking to several of the other parents in the group who refer to their kids as "my natural kids" and "my adopted kids" well..... that just makes me ill... our kids are our kids, no titles, no description necessary, so labels, nothing... they are OUR KIDS!!

I want to find a group of people who wept for children, who waited for that one day to hold their first child in their arms. To be given a baby by a young girl who just couldn't be a mom at that point in her life. To know that one day your child may want to meet their birth-parents and to know that you have the information and you will give it to them.

I don't for an instant deny the love that these parents have for their children, no matter how they join their family. One of my dear friends is a foster mom and I know that she loves all 4 of her kids and hopes to one day add the 2 littles to her family forever!

I just want someone that I can share my feelings with. I guess in this day and age my situation is just different. It is hard to adopt an infant (although we were told that and here we adopted 3) and I do know that there are so many orphans in this world that need loving families.

So like I said, I know that my problem is ME, and how I will feel. Selfish I know...and I am working on it. Because maybe, just maybe there is another couple there that just wants to be parents, they just want ONE child..just ONE..and they think that nobody else feels their pain and hurt... and maybe, just maybe I can help.

Thank you God for my babies.... they mean so much to me!

R

And the angels were SHOCKED!!

My husband has a BLOG Ok have you picked yourself up off the floor yet? I am sure you will find it interesting...... So go, read it and leave him nice comments.

R

A note to other ladies out there

If you are going to wear a dress to church please make sure it has straps..... if it doesn't would you please wear a jacket over it. Also, please make sure your mid-driff isn't exposed... this is especially important when you have your hands raised in worship. And since we are on the topic... please pay attention to skirt length...see above worship comment.....

Thanks.....

R